Unfortunately, things don’t always go as easily for us as we’d like in life. There are a lot of things that can make the roads of our lives a lot more twisting and turning than we’d like – here are some tips on how you can deal with some of them…
There’s very little that hits anyone as hard as bereavement. Whether you’ve watched a loved one get sicker and sicker for months or it was a sudden loss, the truth is that bereavement and grief can have a profound effect on both your mental state and on your life. You may find that most of your everyday activities seem a lot more pointless than they used to and that you’re overtaken by moments of unexpected sadness that render you incapable of doing anything. The unfortunate truth about grief is that there’s no easy way to make it go away as fast as you can – it really is something that you have to live through and experience in order for it to leave. Even then, it simply becomes something that’s easier to live with instead of something that strikes you down every now and then. Learning to live with bereavement is a journey that you’ll be on for a long time – talk to a grief counselor and make sure you’re open and honest with your family, friends and boss about the struggles you’re going through.
Job loss is something that can hit you like a ton of bricks. Not only is it a huge financial issue but it also means that your self esteem can take a hit. A lot of us define ourselves through our jobs – we think of ourselves as teachers, or writers, or mechanics, rather than by our actual names, so if that part of your identity is taken away from you then it can be very hard to know how to deal with it. First of all, either think about the reasons for your job loss – either there are parts of yourself that you can improve for your next position, or you need to remember that it wasn’t your fault (perhaps your company was going through tough financial circumstances). Start to look for a new job immediately – make sure that you get up early and send off as many applications as you possibly can.
If you’re an active person then being rendered incapable of being your normal self by injury can be disconcerting and upsetting, alongside the obvious physical pain of whatever’s happened to you. If you think there’s a case to be made, then hire a personal injury lawyer to make sure that you get everything that you deserve to help you in your recovery. If that isn’t particularly relevant then it’s important that you make sure that you listen to the medical staff who are helping you through your recovery. You might find yourself feeling very blue and depressed but you need to do the exercises that are set to make sure that you heal as quickly as possible. Cut yourself some slack and don’t push yourself too hard, but make sure that you work hard to get healthy again.
Suffering from mental illness is absolutely not something to be ashamed of – a lot of people, probably more than you realize, have problems with depression and anxiety. The key is to look at yourself and to figure out whether you’re suffering from these things yourself, and how you can then deal with it in a healthy way. A lot of people think of depression as constantly crying or being miserable all the time, and those can definitely be symptoms – but remember that it can also come in the form of irritability and a sort of blankness that leaves you unable to enjoy the things that usually give you pleasure. If you feel as though that might be an issue for you, go and talk to your doctor. They might be able to recommend a therapist that you can talk to, or medications that could help you. Remember, you’d take care of any physical ailments you have, so you should take care of the mental ones too.
There’s nothing like financial problems to help you see who your true friends are in life. Having to tighten your belts because of unforeseen financial circumstances is something that a lot of people have to go through at some point, and chances are, it’ll make you a whole lot more sympathetic to other people going through similar circumstances (even though that definitely won’t make you feel better about going through it yourself). First of all, cut out as many non essentials as you possibly can from your everyday life, from that Starbucks iced coffee that you get every morning to that manicure that you get every week. It isn’t forever – just until you’re back on your feet. Make sure that you talk to your bank about any payments that you might be late with so that you can figure something out – they’ll look on you much more kindly if you make sure that you keep them in the loop.
The problem with divorce (or rather, one of the many problems of divorce) isn’t just that you’re unhappy and betrayed that the supposed love of your life is no longer with you – it’s also that you need time to grieve for and get over the life that you had expected to share together. It’s more than the loss of just one person. First of all, make sure that you don’t stalk your ex on social media. There’s nothing good that can come of seeing what he’s doing on there. Secondly, make sure that you get in touch with a good divorce attorney – your ex might promise you the world but as he starts to feel less guilty he’ll also be less generous, so make sure you get everything in writing. Thirdly, make sure you protect your kids – you may be angry with your ex but he’s still their father and you need to make sure that their relationship is maintained.