A wedding, like Christmas, is one of those areas of life where traditions matter. But each family’s traditions are different, so when two families are equally involved, it pays to make no assumptions. Add in the fact that what couples want from their wedding ceremony is also influenced by the films they watch and the social media sites they frequent, and the need for tact and caution is obvious.
One often neglected area in all the preparations is what the mother of the groom will wear—neglected, that is, by everyone except the mother of the groom!
The first rule for the groom’s mother is to consult with the bride and her mother. There is a traditional pecking order here—it doesn’t necessarily apply to every wedding, but it’s a good starting point. The bride chooses the overall theme; the bride’s mother chooses her outfit accordingly; then the groom’s mother chooses something that will complement the bride’s mother without outshining her.
It is a simple matter of courtesy to talk to your future daughter-in-law and her mother before you make any decisions. It will not only avoid any faux pas, but it will also help to smooth along the whole (sometimes fraught) process of planning the big day.
The second rule is to trust your own judgment. You know, from sometimes bitter experience, what works for you and what doesn’t, so be firm and refuse to be talked into wearing something that you know will not suit you. Hopefully, there will be give and take on both sides.
With a bit of care, you can nearly always find colors which will suit you and which do not clash with the other members of the party. The same goes for the style—it doesn’t need to be the same, but it should be complementary.
If you are not comfortable in what you are wearing, you are not going to enjoy the day as you should. If expense is an issue, a little research will help, and seeing what is available on the POWD website can steer you in the right direction.
The final requirement is that you stay relaxed and flexible. Customs are changing, and you can be surprised by what is planned. For instance, there is no mention of your son’s opinion above, because traditionally the groom has not been involved in that side of the arrangements. But many couples today plan every aspect of their wedding together, and your son may have some very good advice.
A rainbow themed wedding can liberate you, but still remember rule one. A very formal dress code can feel restrictive, but then rule two comes into play.
Enough of the Rules
Don’t get too obsessed about the whole procedure. A wedding is supposed to be a joyful experience. Be confident that you have shown the right level of concern for others and that you have ended up wearing something that looks good on you. Then relax and enjoy yourself.
Jade Stokes has been Mother-of-the-bride and Mother-of-the-groom as her kids have flown the nest and entered into married life over the past few years. She shares her tips and thoughts online through her articles.